Beautiful writeup!

In Camus's philosophy, this dysfunctionality that you've talked about is called absurdity. Absurdism is the philosophy of admitting that there's no inherent meaning of life and realizing that it isn't something that should leave us in dread. It is rather liberating to know that there's no inherent meaning because we can create our own meaning in life.
I could relate with lots of points in this writeup. I'm on a similar journey. I don't let anyone decide what I'm going to do with my life and I guess this is my way of rebelling against the absurdity of life 😉.
Again, as Camus, my spiritual daddy has said "One must imagine Sisyphus happy"...