I recently learned about Prepositions of NLP and something that I had already observed was;
The meaning of the communication is not simply what you intend, but also the response that you get.
The Need to Be Always Right in Conversations
I learned something similar to the above while reading The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle. Tolle wrote about how there’s this need to be always right in conversations. I have closely observed myself while communicating with others and for sure, he was so right when he stated that.
We often end up turning our conversations into some kinds of battles. This only hurts us and our relationships in the long run. The self that we keep defending doesn’t even exist. The more we argue with others on useless points the more we complicate our relationships.
If only we let the other person speak, listen to them carefully and truly try to understand their point of view, we would do much better in relationships.
Things as small as complimenting someone, listening to them carefully, or agreeing with them make people feel loved. It builds trust in a relationship which makes it last longer. Not just that, by being a good listener you also learn a lot.
About Respecting Other Person’s Model of the World
Another related point in those prepositions was;
People respond to their experiences, not to reality itself. The map is not the territory.
Everyone goes through completely different experiences which is why they end up perceiving reality so differently. What’s right and what’s wrong is subjective and depends on how the individual perceives reality. It is completely normal to have different opinions as humans.
We should always respect other person’s model of the world and try to look through their perspective. If you don’t agree with them there’s no need to make things more complicated by arguing, just admit that you have a different opinion than them and it is OK. Never ever disrespect someone just because they don’t agree with you.
Meanwhile, Never Suppress Your Inner Voice
There’s a big difference between respecting other’s opinions and sugar coating our words just to please them. I used to be like this, I would agree with everything they say because I was too insecure to lose them 😛. I got over this. The thing I learned though was that the key to change something bad is to admit that it’s bad in the first place.
Always Be Your Truest Self
We fear that we’ll lose them if we start being our truest selves. Most of the time it’s not the case. And even if it is so, if being our truest selves will scare them away, then we’re better off without them! We should never fake our personality because it is never healthy to do so.
Respect their point of view, agree with them when needed but never suppress or sugarcoat your own opinion. Always state your honest opinion in conversations while being as polite as you can.
I hope you learned something new, keep shining 🙃🌟!