Humans and Their Ultimate Goal of Happiness

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

As a kid, I never had many friends. I used to wonder why we even need friends, why can’t we just live on our own. I think I’ve solved this mystery now after a decade.

So continuing from childhood, that loneliness didn’t just end there but it continued and kept growing until I reached a point in life where I felt hell like isolated.

A month ago when I moved out of my Dad’s house to live on my own I didn’t even realize the fact that I am going to lose the bare minimum human interaction that I have.
The first month was really hard and I felt isolated, alone and weak the whole month. But in those days I kept trying to solve the mystery that why can’t a human just be alone forever.

After reading many writeups and watching plenty of videos, up until now what I think I’ve realized is that we, humans are social animals and we can’t change it. Our ancestors felt weak in the ecosystem so they started socializing and helping each other in many aspects to gain strength. This kept going for thousands of years and we became what we are now.
I don’t think this is something bad, but for introverts, it is a daunting fact that they can’t be really happy being introverts. They need to socialize more than they think they should. And by socializing I mean real socializing, not getting jealous from a picture on social media and still commenting “Gorgeous” to get that comment back.

Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash

Talking about happiness, I think that’s what a human’s ultimate life goal is. Doesn’t matter if they dream about a materialistic thing or whatever, it’s just all related to happiness. Well, happiness isn’t just about human connections, there are other factors too, but they are all connected in some way.

The second factor after human connections is financial freedom. We work for money and we spend money on stuff that makes us happy. So ultimately we can say that we work to get happiness in our lives right?
When we depend on others to get our money, we indirectly depend on them to get our happiness.

Human connections are mostly built by helping others and experiencing stuff with them. Both can be done efficiently when we are financially independent. That’s how being able to earn money on our own relates to human connections.
When we are financially independent we can be ourselves truly and we can help others in many ways which build long term relationships.

Let me give an example of depending on someone for happiness in real life.

Now this example can offend some people but I wanna say that it’s just an example and your opinions about it are welcomed.

I live in Pakistan. Here in Pakistan, mostly, The biggest accomplishment of a typical woman from a middle-class family is to get married and have kids.
So, a typical woman gets married and instantly starts depending on her husband for her financial needs (In most cases, but yeah, not in every case). Indirectly she starts depending on her husband for happiness.
After some years what happens is that the person who feeds them happiness gets frustrated by his own life. Now, how would a person make others happy when he isn’t happy himself.
So, the dependent woman gets frustrated too but she can’t do anything about it. She just doesn’t wanna go back to her parent’s house because it is not something appreciated here.
What that woman does after all this is that she starts seeking happiness in her children. But sooner or later those children start disobeying her having their reasons and when they do so, it can be a depressing phase of her life.

Bottom line:

Our ultimate goal in life should be happiness and happiness comes from human connections.
Sometimes because of being lonely for too long, we develope a kind of shield around us to save ourselves from the outer world. In my opinion, being introvert(even with pride) indirectly means holding that protective shield.

What you need to do is just be open to others and take every social interaction positively.
Most importantly never depend on others for your happiness. If you are financially dependent then at least you can take a step forward by working on improving your professional skills so you can gain financial independence as soon as possible.

P.S: Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Also, stay tuned for the next stories, Cheers!

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Ali Raza

Ali Raza

29 Followers

A 20 years old self-taught programmer who loves writing about life. https://0xali.com