I Can’t Control It, Neither Can You!

Ali Raza
3 min readDec 7, 2020

I’ve been thinking to write this for a while now but I kept avoiding it. Maybe I thought that you wouldn’t take it seriously (for some miscellaneous reason) but then I was like “heck, why do I even care?”. So here I’m.

By controlling, I meant thoughts, feelings, and emotions. If you’ve tried mindfulness you’ll understand it quickly but if not, then just take your time 🙂.

There was a time when I used to think that we, humans, have free will but now, after all these ups and downs, I don’t believe in that. This quote (by some unknown author) may make some sense:

You can do as you wish but you can’t wish as you wish.

Let me further demonstrate this with an example.
If I ask you to think about a movie and write its name. (literally do it right now) Now, there’s some level of free will when you think about a movie name right? Like, you would think about the movies that you’ve watched and told me one chosen name, it was your choice, or was it?
The thing is that you only chose from the movies that appeared in your conscious mind but what about all other movies that you’ve watched and you would’ve definitely chosen one of them, only if they’ve appeared in your mind? You’re not even in control of what movies to chose from! Then where’s the free will in it?

I’ve been experiencing negative thoughts, inferior complex, and, I kinda possess a lot of other insecurities too but the truth is that I’m not in control (I’m getting kinda personal here but honestly, I don’t care what you think 😛!). So, I kinda stopped worrying and I want you to do the same.
Now at this point in life, I’ve realized that the only thing I can do is observe what appears and I’m getting better at it. The more I observe, the more I handle it better. You can do the same but heck, you obviously won’t need to because you ain’t that insecure as me (or are you?)!

We often ignore what happens in our conscious mind let aside the subconscious mind.
Like, have you ever noticed the background chatter that happens in your mind? The thoughts that came while reading this not-so-funny story? Just try this for the next few minutes. Try to observe what thoughts come to your mind in these few minutes. If you notice clearly it won’t be hard to admit that you can’t control the appearance of these thoughts and honestly these thoughts kinda dictate your whole life.

We kinda worry too much when we take life too seriously. The answer is not to step aside from responsibility but to stop worrying about small things. We never chose the environment we were born into and if it is something that is the reason behind a lot of our successes and failures then what’s there to worry about when you can’t even change it.

Seriously, stop worrying, grab a beer(or a cup of tea if beer is prohibited in your religion 😉) and enjoy life!

I guess the best way to enjoy life is worrying less and observing more. Observe what there is to observe and feel what there is to be felt! Enjoying life isn’t just about feeling happy all the time. When I said “feel what there is to be felt” I meant it!
You gotta open your arms to all kinds of feelings and emotions. You can’t force happiness on yourself. If it’s the sadness you’re feeling, feel it more deeply because if you try to avoid it, it’ll only get intense.
Sometimes there are some feelings that we can’t even name, feel those kinds of anonymous feelings too and you’ll get through it.

Again, you’re not really in control of this small thing called life(change my mind if you can) then why worry?

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Ali Raza

Software developer // writer. Into philosophy, literature, and comp. science.