Yesterday night I realized that it had gotten to a point where I couldn’t handle it anymore, and there was no way out of it but to live in the moment.
I have been there before. The thought patterns and the pain was very similar to what I had been through in the past. It is more intense this time because I have left my antidepressant(escitalopram), and the withdrawal is playing a role in it.
So, I have been in kind of love lately. It has never happened before. I think about that person 24/7 and crave their attention all the time. It is not healthy at all, neither for me nor for them.
As I was sitting there in the dark in extreme agony I realized that you can never love someone if you don’t love yourself first. If you don’t give yourself enough attention, or ignore your needs to be healthy and don’t do what you love to do you are just going to become an attention-mongering bitch who doesn’t care about others. Don’t do that to yourself or the person you love.
By focusing on yourself, giving yourself enough attention, and not ignoring your needs to be healthy you be able to give them the purest form of love that’s not contaminated with negative thoughts and the need for constant attention. Seriously, take care of yourself and then take care of others. This leads to healthy, long-lasting relationships.
There’s one more thing I want to state here, once you stop being an attention-mongering bitch, your heart gets filled with fear of losing others. That’s a valid fear but if they leave you for being yourself and living your life then what’s the point? Like people who’re gonna stay will stay anyways.
Thanks for reading. I am trying to stay more consistent at writing so I’m gonna try my best to write daily. This blog is gonna turn into a kind of diary from now on and you’re gonna love it so stay tuned!
